What Are Particles? The Gentle Introduction

On this blog, I write about particle physics for the general public. I try to make things as simple as possible, but I do have to assume some things. In particular, I usually assume you know what particles are!

This time, I won’t do that. I know some people out there don’t know what a particle is, or what particle physicists do. If you’re a person like that, this post is for you! I’m going to give a gentle introduction to what particle physics is all about.

Let’s start with atoms.

Every object and substance around you, everything you can touch or lift or walk on, the water you drink and the air you breathe, all of these are made up of atoms. Some are simple: an iron bar is made of Iron atoms, aluminum foil is mostly Aluminum atoms. Some are made of combinations of atoms into molecules, like water’s famous H2O: each molecule has two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom. Some are made of more complicated mixtures: air is mostly pairs of Nitrogen atoms, with a healthy amount of pairs of Oxygen, some Carbon Dioxide (CO2), and many other things, while the concrete sidewalks you walk on have Calcium, Silicon, Aluminum, Iron, and Oxygen, all combined in various ways.

There is a dizzying array of different types of atoms, called chemical elements. Most occur in nature, but some are man-made, created by cutting-edge nuclear physics. They can all be organized in the periodic table of elements, which you’ve probably seen on a classroom wall.

The periodic table

The periodic table is called the periodic table because it repeats, periodically. Each element is different, but their properties resemble each other. Oxygen is a gas, Sulfur a yellow powder, Polonium an extremely radioactive metal…but just as you can find H2O, you can make H2S, and even H2Po. The elements get heavier as you go down the table, and more metal-like, but their chemical properties, the kinds of molecules you can make with them, repeat.

Around 1900, physicists started figuring out why the elements repeat. What they discovered is that each atom is made of smaller building-blocks, called sub-atomic particles. (“Sub-atomic” because they’re smaller than atoms!) Each atom has electrons on the outside, and on the inside has a nucleus made of protons and neutrons. Atoms of different elements have different numbers of protons and electrons, which explains their different properties.

Different atoms with different numbers of protons, neutrons, and electrons

Around the same time, other physicists studied electricity, magnetism, and light. These things aren’t made up of atoms, but it was discovered that they are all aspects of the same force, the electromagnetic force. And starting with Einstein, physicists figured out that this force has particles too. A beam of light is made up of another type of sub-atomic particle, called a photon.

For a little while then, it seemed that the universe was beautifully simple. All of matter was made of electrons, protons, and neutrons, while light was made of photons.

(There’s also gravity, of course. That’s more complicated, in this post I’ll leave it out.)

Soon, though, nuclear physicists started noticing stranger things. In the 1930’s, as they tried to understand the physics behind radioactivity and mapped out rays from outer space, they found particles that didn’t fit the recipe. Over the next forty years, theoretical physicists puzzled over their equations, while experimental physicists built machines to slam protons and electrons together, all trying to figure out how they work.

Finally, in the 1970’s, physicists had a theory they thought they could trust. They called this theory the Standard Model. It organized their discoveries, and gave them equations that could predict what future experiments would see.

In the Standard Model, there are two new forces, the weak nuclear force and the strong nuclear force. Just like photons for the electromagnetic force, each of these new forces has a particle. The general word for these particles is bosons, named after Satyendra Nath Bose, a collaborator of Einstein who figured out the right equations for this type of particle. The weak force has bosons called W and Z, while the strong force has bosons called gluons. A final type of boson, called the Higgs boson after a theorist who suggested it, rounds out the picture.

The Standard Model also has new types of matter particles. Neutrinos interact with the weak nuclear force, and are so light and hard to catch that they pass through nearly everything. Quarks are inside protons and neutrons: a proton contains one one down quark and two up quarks, while a neutron contains two down quarks and one up quark. The quarks explained all of the other strange particles found in nuclear physics.

Finally, the Standard Model, like the periodic table, repeats. There are three generations of particles. The first, with electrons, up quarks, down quarks, and one type of neutrino, show up in ordinary matter. The other generations are heavier, and not usually found in nature except in extreme conditions. The second generation has muons (similar to electrons), strange quarks, charm quarks, and a new type of neutrino called a muon-neutrino. The third generation has tauons, bottom quarks, top quarks, and tau-neutrinos.

(You can call these last quarks “truth quarks” and “beauty quarks” instead, if you like.)

Physicists had the equations, but the equations still had some unknowns. They didn’t know how heavy the new particles were, for example. Finding those unknowns took more experiments, over the next forty years. Finally, in 2012, the last unknown was found when a massive machine called the Large Hadron Collider was used to measure the Higgs boson.

The Standard Model

We think that these particles are all elementary particles. Unlike protons and neutrons, which are both made of up quarks and down quarks, we think that the particles of the Standard Model are not made up of anything else, that they really are elementary building-blocks of the universe.

We have the equations, and we’ve found all the unknowns, but there is still more to discover. We haven’t seen everything the Standard Model can do: to see some properties of the particles and check they match, we’d need a new machine, one even bigger than the Large Hadron Collider. We also know that the Standard Model is incomplete. There is at least one new particle, called dark matter, that can’t be any of the known particles. Mysteries involving the neutrinos imply another type of unknown particle. We’re also missing deeper things. There are patterns in the table, like the generations, that we can’t explain.

We don’t know if any one experiment will work, or if any one theory will prove true. So particle physicists keep working, trying to find new tricks and make new discoveries.

France for Non-EU Spouses of EU Citizens: To Get Your Rights, Don’t Follow the Rules

I’m a German citizen, my wife is not. When we moved to France, we were confused. Looking at the French government’s website, we couldn’t figure out a crucial question: when, and how, would she have the right to work?

We talked to the French embassy and EU aid organizations, got advice from my employer and blogs and Facebook groups. She’s a schoolteacher, and we wanted to make sure she was able to work when we arrived, at the beginning of the school year. We did everything we were told, filled out everything we were advised to…but still, employers weren’t sure she had the right to work.

Six months and a lot of pain later, we’ve now left France. We’ve learned a lot more about EU law and French immigration practices than we ever planned to. I’m writing this guide because I haven’t found anything quite like it, something that puts all the information we found in one place. Read this guide, and you’ll learn how the law is supposed to work, how it actually works…and what you should do if, as a non-EU spouse of an EU citizen, you still want to move to France.

How it’s supposed to work

I want to be absolutely clear here: I am not a lawyer. This is not professional legal advice. This is based on what I’ve been told by Your Europe Advice, an organization that provides free advice about EU law. It’s also based on my own reading, because the relevant law here (the EU Directive on Freedom of Movement, 2004/38/EC) is surprisingly readable.

First, the crucial question. Your spouse is an EU citizen, and you have moved together to a (different!) EU country. Do you have the right to work? Let’s check the directive:

Article 23

Related rights

Irrespective of nationality, the family members of a Union citizen who have the right of residence or the right of permanent residence in a Member State shall be entitled to take up employment or self-employment there.

Yes, you have the right to work.

You may need a visa to enter the country, but if so, it is supposed to be issued quickly and free of charge according to Article 5:

2.  Family members who are not nationals of a Member State shall only be required to have an entry visa in accordance with Regulation (EC) No 539/2001 or, where appropriate, with national law. For the purposes of this Directive, possession of the valid residence card referred to in Article 10 shall exempt such family members from the visa requirement.

Member States shall grant such persons every facility to obtain the necessary visas. Such visas shall be issued free of charge as soon as possible and on the basis of an accelerated procedure.

To make sure this is done properly, the EU recommends that you make it clear that you are applying for an entry visa as a family member of an EU citizen. These are generally short-stay Schengen visas that last 90 days.

After entering, you may be required to apply for a residence card.

Article 9

Administrative formalities for family members who are not nationals of a Member State

1.  Member States shall issue a residence card to family members of a Union citizen who are not nationals of a Member State, where the planned period of residence is for more than three months.

2.  The deadline for submitting the residence card application may not be less than three months from the date of arrival.

3.  Failure to comply with the requirement to apply for a residence card may make the person concerned liable to proportionate and non-discriminatory sanctions.

This residence card must be issued within six months, and they can only ask for a very short list of documents:

Article 10

Issue of residence cards

1.  The right of residence of family members of a Union citizen who are not nationals of a Member State shall be evidenced by the issuing of a document called ‘Residence card of a family member of a Union citizen’ no later than six months from the date on which they submit the application. A certificate of application for the residence card shall be issued immediately.

2.  For the residence card to be issued, Member States shall require presentation of the following documents:

(a) a valid passport;

(b) a document attesting to the existence of a family relationship or of a registered partnership;

(c) the registration certificate or, in the absence of a registration system, any other proof of residence in the host Member State of the Union citizen whom they are accompanying or joining;

Once you get it, the residence card is supposed to be valid for five years:

Article 11

Validity of the residence card

1.  The residence card provided for by Article 10(1) shall be valid for five years from the date of issue or for the envisaged period of residence of the Union citizen, if this period is less than five years.

Six months may sound like a long time, but if everything goes according to EU law you shouldn’t be too worried, because of this:

Article 25

General provisions concerning residence documents

1.  Possession of a registration certificate as referred to in Article 8, of a document certifying permanent residence, of a certificate attesting submission of an application for a family member residence card, of a residence card or of a permanent residence card, may under no circumstances be made a precondition for the exercise of a right or the completion of an administrative formality, as entitlement to rights may be attested by any other means of proof.

“Under no circumstances”, that’s pretty strong! You do not need your residence card either to exercise your rights (such as the right to work) or to complete any administrative formality (basically, anything the government wants you to do). You also don’t need a document certifying you’ve applied for the card. You can attest your rights by any other means of proof: for example, your marriage certificate and your spouse’s passport.

In general, you have almost all of the rights that the locals do, though for a few specific things you may have to wait:

Article 24

Equal treatment

1.  Subject to such specific provisions as are expressly provided for in the Treaty and secondary law, all Union citizens residing on the basis of this Directive in the territory of the host Member State shall enjoy equal treatment with the nationals of that Member State within the scope of the Treaty. The benefit of this right shall be extended to family members who are not nationals of a Member State and who have the right of residence or permanent residence.

2.  By way of derogation from paragraph 1, the host Member State shall not be obliged to confer entitlement to social assistance during the first three months of residence or, where appropriate, the longer period provided for in Article 14(4)(b), nor shall it be obliged, prior to acquisition of the right of permanent residence, to grant maintenance aid for studies, including vocational training, consisting in student grants or student loans to persons other than workers, self-employed persons, persons who retain such status and members of their families.

All of that is pretty clear, and there are some nice guides on the EU website that walk you through a lot of it.

I suspect that no EU country perfectly implements these rules. It’s a lot easier to require a residence card for something than to allow people to show up with just their marriage certificate. But there is a lot of variation in which rights are involved, and in how quickly and reliably things are processed. So next, let’s look at how France does it.

How France says it works

If you’re trying to move to France, the most intuitive thing to do is to check the French government’s website, service-public.fr, and see what it has to say. You’ll find confirmation of some of these points: that you must apply for a residence permit within three months, that they must grant it within six months unless they have a very good reason not to.

That page takes you to the page on residence cards, which describes part of the process of applying for one. Following the pages, you can eventually find the following steps:

  1. Apply via ANEF, the Administration Numérique des Étrangers en France. You’ll have to upload several documents: a scan of your passport, something proving your residence in France (they have a list), an official photo (there are machines called Photomatons in France that do this), a scan of your spouse’s passport and your marriage certificate, and some proof that your spouse has legal residence in France (for example, their employment contract). You have to do this after entering the country. So unlike a normal visa, this can’t be started early!
  2. ANEF gives you a document called an attestation de pre-depôt. This certifies that you have submitted your application, but nothing more than that. It explicitly says it doesn’t attest to the regularity of your stay, or let you re-enter France if you leave.
  3. ANEF then is supposed to forward your case to your local government: a prefecture or sub-prefecture.
  4. The prefecture or sub-prefecture, once they open your file, will give you access to an online space where they can send and receive documents. This online space is supposed to come with an attestation de prolongation. This is a document that attests that you are legally in the country for three months while they process your case, but still does not attest that you have the right to work, register for healthcare, return to the country if you leave, or really anything else. If you go past the three months, they’re supposed to issue you another one.
  5. They might ask you for more documents, or to clarify things.
  6. Once they’ve processed your case, they give you a way (that can vary by prefecture) to set up an appointment to do biometrics. You show up with the documents they ask for and they take your fingerprints.
  7. They give you an attestation de decision favorable. This one explicitly gives you the right to work.
  8. Once your residence card is ready, they let you set up an appointment to pick it up.

Note that, despite the EU rules, it’s not until step 7 that you get a document saying you have the right to work. Instead, employers might think that you need a work authorization, a document that is complicated to apply for because it requires the employer demonstrate that there are no suitable French candidates for the position. The page on work authorizations lists a number of exceptions…but not for spouses of EU citizens, nor for the short-term Schengen visa you might have if you followed the normal rules.

Even if an employer understands the rules, they still might be worried. It might not be clear to them how to fill out the paperwork to hire you without one of the documents listed on service-public.fr. They might also be worried that the government will punish them. In France, if you claim to be a spouse of an EU citizen but turn out to be lying, your employer can be punished with very steep fines, or even in some cases jail time! So employers can be very reluctant to hire you if you don’t have some French document that explicitly says you have the right to work.

With all that, maybe you still want to try to do things this way. We still did, or at least, we couldn’t think of a better option. My wife applied with ANEF when we entered France, and we hoped things would go reasonably quickly.

How it actually works

Things do not go reasonably quickly.

The system ANEF uses to register non-EU spouses of EU nationals is quite new, and still buggy. Applications can be lost. Ours was sent to the wrong office, and not processed for some time.

The prefectures and sub-prefectures also take quite long to process things. They aim to finish in three months, but the average is typically much higher. If you check your prefecture, they may have published their average delays for recent years. Ours was around five months.

You may not have the ability to directly check on any of these things. ANEF told us they had no information, the prefecture told us they couldn’t answer our questions. We had to go through a variety of aid organizations to get any information at all.

The prefectures might ask you for documents you don’t actually need. They might want you to certify your marriage in your spouse’s home country if it was made elsewhere, or apostilled if your country does the apostille.

They might also give you a residence card that only lasts one year, instead of five, or charge you to pick it up, when they’re not supposed to.

Is it possible you get processed quickly and correctly? Yes, it’s possible. Some people do get the attestation de prolongation immediately, and not after five months. We had friends who were processed in two months, getting the card in three…after applying some political pressure behind the scenes, in a well-rated prefecture.

(Check your prefecture or sub-prefecture on Google maps, they have star ratings!)

Of the steps above, it took five months for us to get to step 4. We got up to step 6. before we gave up and left the country.

If you don’t want to do that, you need another approach.

What you should actually do

Talk to people in France, and they’ll be confused by all this. Most of them think you have to go through a very different process, one where you get a long-stay visa before entering the country, which explicitly gives the right to work.

That’s because that is actually the official process…for spouses of French people. EU Countries are allowed to have different immigration rules for their own citizens’ spouses from the general rules, and France does. Most bureaucrats you run into in France, and many employers, will assume you are supposed to get a long-stay visa, and that if you didn’t you’re doing something wrong. In particular, the bureaucrats in charge of registering you for health coverage will often assume this, so until you get your residence card you may need to pay full price for your healthcare.

Here’s the thing, though: why not get a long-stay visa?

This is a visa called type D. These visas cost money, they aren’t generally free. You can’t always get one: while the embassy is required by EU law to give you a short-stay visa, they aren’t required to give you a long-stay visa.

But long stay visas can explicitly give the right to work. They don’t expire in three months, before most prefectures will have processed your files. And they are what most French people expect you to have.

So that’s our advice. If you really want to move to France with your EU spouse, and you’re not an EU citizen yourself…then don’t go until you have a type D, long-stay, VLS-TS visa.

It’s not what you’re supposed to do. But until the system changes, it could save you five months of pain.

Book Review: The Case Against Reality

Nima Arkani-Hamed shows up surprisingly rarely in popular science books. A major figure in my former field, Nima is extremely quotable (frequent examples include “spacetime is doomed” and “the universe is not a crappy metal”), but those quotes don’t seem to quite have reached the popular physics mainstream. He’s been interviewed in books by physicists, and has a major role in one popular physics book that I’m aware of. From this scattering of mentions, I was quite surprised to hear of another book where he makes an appearance: not a popular physics book at all, but a popular psychology book: Donald Hoffman’s The Case Against Reality. Naturally, this meant I had to read it.

Then, I saw the first quote on the back cover…or specifically, who was quoted.

Seeing that, I settled in for a frustrating read.

A few pages later, I realized that this, despite his endorsement, is not a Deepak Chopra kind of book. Hoffman is careful in some valuable ways. Specifically, he has a philosopher’s care, bringing up objections and potential holes in his arguments. As a result, the book wasn’t frustrating in the way I expected.

It was even more frustrating, actually. But in an entirely different way.

When a science professor writes a popular book, the result is often a kind of ungainly Frankenstein. The arguments we want to make tend to be better-suited to shorter pieces, like academic papers, editorials, and blog posts. To make these into a book, we have to pad them out. We stir together all the vaguely related work we’ve done, plus all the best-known examples from other peoples’ work, trying (often not all that hard) to make the whole sound like a cohesive story. Read enough examples, and you start to see the joints between the parts.

Hoffman is ostensibly trying to tell a single story. His argument is that the reality we observe, of objects in space and time, is not the true reality. It is a convenient reality, one that has led to our survival, but evolution has not (and as he argues, cannot) let us perceive the truth. Instead, he argues that the true reality is consciousness: a world made up of conscious beings interacting with each other, with space, time, and all the rest emerging as properties of those interactions.

That certainly sounds like it could be one, cohesive argument. In practice, though, it is three, and they don’t fit together as well as he’d hope.

Hoffman is trained as a psychologist. As such, one of the arguments is psychological: that research shows that we mis-perceive the world in service of evolutionary fitness.

Hoffman is a cognitive scientist, and while many cognitive scientists are trained as psychologists, others are trained as philosophers. As such, one of his arguments is philosophical: that the contents of consciousness can never be explained by relations between material objects, and that evolution, and even science, systematically lead us astray.

Finally, Hoffman has evidently been listening to and reading the work of some physicists, like Nima and Carlo Rovelli. As such, one of his arguments is physical: that physicists believe that space and time are illusions and that consciousness may be fundamental, and that the conclusions of the book lead to his own model of the basic physical constituents of the world.

The book alternates between these three arguments, so rather than in chapter order, I thought it would be better to discuss each argument in its own section.

The Psychological Argument

Sometimes, when two academics get into a debate, they disagree about what’s true. Two scientists might argue about whether an experiment was genuine, whether the statistics back up a conclusion, or whether a speculative theory is actually consistent. These are valuable debates, and worth reading about if you want to learn something about the nature of reality.

Sometimes, though, two debating academics agree on what’s true, and just disagree on what’s important. These debates are, at best, relevant to other academics and funders. They are not generally worth reading for anybody else, and are often extremely petty and dumb.

Hoffman’s psychological argument, regrettably, is of the latter kind. He would like to claim it’s the former, and to do so he marshals a host of quotes from respected scientists that claim that human perception is veridical: that what we perceive is real, courtesy of an evolutionary process that would have killed us off if it wasn’t. From that perspective, every psychological example Hoffman gives is a piece of counter-evidence, a situation where evolution doesn’t just fail to show us the true nature of reality, but actively hides reality from us.

The problem is that, if you actually read the people Hoffman quotes, they’re clearly not making the extreme point he claims. These people are psychologists, and all they are arguing is that perception is veridical in a particular, limited way. They argue that we humans are good at estimating distances or positions of objects, or that we can see a wide range of colors. They aren’t making some sort of philosophical point about those distances or positions or colors being how the world “really is”, nor are they claiming that evolution never makes humans mis-perceive.

Instead, they, and thus Hoffman, are arguing about importance. When studying humans, is it more useful to think of us as perceiving the world as it is? Or is it more useful to think of evolution as tricking us? Which happens more often?

The answers to each of those questions have to be “it depends”. Neither answer can be right all the time. At most then, this kind of argument can convince one academic to switch from researching in one way to researching in another, by saying that right now one approach is a better strategy. It can’t tell us anything more.

If the argument Hoffman is trying to get across here doesn’t matter, are there other reasons to read this part?

Popular psychology books tend to re-use a few common examples. There are some good ones, so if you haven’t read such a book you probably should read a couple, just to hear about them. For example, Hoffman tells the story of the split-brain patients, which is definitely worth being aware of.

(Those of you who’ve heard that story may be wondering how the heck Hoffman squares it with his idea of consciousness as fundamental. He actually does have a (weird) way to handle this, so read on.)

The other examples come from Hoffman’s research, and other research in his sub-field. There are stories about what optical illusions tell us about our perception, about how evolution primes us to see different things as attractive, and about how advertisers can work with attention.

These stories would at least be a source of a few more cool facts, but I’m a bit wary. The elephant in the room here is the replication crisis. Paper after paper in psychology has turned out to be a statistical mirage, accidental successes that fail to replicate in later experiments. This can happen without any deceit on the part of the psychologist, it’s just a feature of how statistics are typically done in the field.

Some psychologists make a big deal about the replication crisis: they talk about the statistical methods they use, and what they do to make sure they’re getting a real result. Hoffman talks a bit about tricks to rule out other explanations, but mostly doesn’t focus on this kind of thing.. This doesn’t mean he’s doing anything wrong: it might just be it’s off-topic. But it makes it a bit harder to trust him, compared to other psychologists who do make a big deal about it.

The Philosophical Argument

Hoffman structures his book around two philosophical arguments, one that appears near the beginning and another that, as he presents it, is the core thesis of the book. He calls both of these arguments theorems, a naming choice sure to irritate mathematicians and philosophers alike, but the mathematical content in either is for the most part not the point: in each case, the philosophical setup is where the arguments get most of their strength.

The first of these arguments, called The Scrambling Theorem, is set up largely as background material: not his core argument, but just an entry into the overall point he’s making. I found it helpful as a way to get at his reasoning style, the sorts of things he cares about philosophically and the ones he doesn’t.

The Scrambling Theorem is meant to weigh in on the debate over a thought experiment called the Inverted Spectrum, which in turn weighs on the philosophical concept of qualia. The Inverted Spectrum asks us to imagine someone who sees the spectrum of light inverted compared to how we see it, so that green becomes red and red becomes green, without anything different about their body or brain. Such a person would learn to refer to colors the same ways that we do, still referring to red blood even though they see what we see when we see green grass. Philosophers argue that, because we can imagine this, the “qualia” we see in color, like red or green, are distinct from their practical role: they are images in the mind’s eye that can be compared across minds, but do not correspond to anything we have yet characterized scientifically in the physical world.

As a response, other philosophers argued that you can’t actually invert the spectrum. Colors aren’t really a wheel, we can distinguish, for example, more colors between red and blue than between green and yellow. Just flipping colors around would have detectable differences that would have to have physical implications, you can’t just swap qualia and nothing else.

The Scrambling Theorem is in response to this argument. Hoffman argues that, while you can’t invert the spectrum, you can scramble it. By swapping not only the colors, but the relations between them, you can arrange any arbitrary set of colors however else you’d like. You can declare that green not only corresponds to blood and not grass, but that it has more colors between it and yellow, perhaps by stealing them from the other side of the color wheel. If you’re already allowed to swap colors and their associations around, surely you can do this too, and change order and distances between them.

Believe it or not, I think Hoffman’s argument is correct, at least in its original purpose. You can’t respond to the Inverted Spectrum just by saying that colors are distributed differently on different sides of the color wheel. If you want to argue against the Inverted Spectrum, you need a better argument.

Hoffman’s work happens to suggest that better argument. Because he frames this argument in the language of mathematics, as a “theorem”, Hoffman’s argument is much more general than the summary I gave above. He is arguing that not merely can you scramble colors, but anything you like. If you want to swap electrons and photons, you can: just make your photons interact with everything the way electrons did, and vice versa. As long as you agree that the things you are swapping exist, according to Hoffman, you are free to exchange them and their properties any way you’d like.

This is because, to Hoffman, things that “actually exist” cannot be defined just in terms of their relations. An electron is not merely a thing that repels other electrons and is attracted to protons and so on, it is a thing that “actually exists” out there in the world. (Or, as he will argue, it isn’t really. But that’s because in the end he doesn’t think electrons exist.)

(I’m tempted to argue against this with a mathematical object like group elements. Surely the identity element of a group is defined by its relations? But I think he would argue identity elements of groups don’t actually exist.)

In the end, Hoffman is coming from a particular philosophical perspective, one common in modern philosophers of metaphysics, the study of the nature of reality. From this perspective, certain things exist, and are themselves by necessity. We cannot ask what if a thing were not itself. For example, in this perspective it is nonsense to ask what if Superman was not Clark Kent, because the two names refer to the same actually existing person.

(If, you know, Superman actually existed.)

Despite the name of the book, Hoffman is not actually making a case against reality in general. He very much seems to believe in this type of reality, in the idea that there are certain things out there that are real, independent of any purely mathematical definition of their properties. He thinks they are different things than you think they are, but he definitely thinks there are some such things, and that it’s important and scientifically useful to find them.

Hoffman’s second argument is, as he presents it, the core of the book. It’s the argument that’s supposed to show that the world is almost certainly not how we perceive it, even through scientific instruments and the scientific method. Once again, he calls it a theorem: the Fitness Beats Truth theorem.

The Fitness Beats Truth argument begins with a question: why should we believe what we see? Why do we expect that the things we perceive should be true?

In Hoffman’s mind, the only answer is evolution. If we perceived the world inaccurately, we would die out, replaced by creatures that perceived the world better than we did. You might think we also have evidence from biology, chemistry, and physics: we can examine our eyes, test them against cameras, see how they work and what they can and can’t do. But to Hoffman, all of this evidence may be mistaken, because to learn biology, chemistry, and physics we must first trust that we perceive the world correctly to begin with. Evolution, though, doesn’t rely on any of that. Even if we aren’t really bundles of cells replicating through DNA and RNA, we should still expect something like evolution, some process by which things differ, are selected, and reproduce their traits differently in the next generation. Such things are common enough, and general enough, that one can (handwavily) expect them through pure reason alone.

But, says Hoffman’s psychology experience, evolution tricks us! We do mis-perceive, and systematically, in ways that favor our fitness over reality. And so Hoffman asks, how often should we expect this to happen?

The Fitness Beats Truth argument thinks of fitness as randomly distributed: some parts of reality historically made us more fit, some less. This distribution could match reality exactly, so that for any two things that are actually different, they will make us fit in different ways. But it doesn’t have to. There might easily be things that are really very different from each other, but which are close enough from a fitness perspective that to us they seem exactly the same.

The “theorem” part of the argument is an attempt to quantify this. Hoffman imagines a pixelated world, and asks how likely it is that a random distribution of fitness matches a random distribution of pixels. This gets extremely unlikely for a world of any reasonable size, for pretty obvious reasons. Thus, Hoffman concludes: in a world with evolution, we should almost always expect it to hide something from us. The world, if it has any complexity at all, has an almost negligible probability of being as we perceive it.

On one level, this is all kind of obvious. Evolution does trick us sometimes, just as it tricks other animals. But Hoffman is trying to push this quite far, to say that ultimately our whole picture of reality, not just our eyes and ears and nose but everything we see with microscopes and telescopes and calorimeters and scintillators, all of that might be utterly dramatically wrong. Indeed, we should expect it to be.

In this house, we tend to dismiss the Cartesian Demon. If you have an argument that makes you doubt literally everything, then it seems very unlikely you’ll get anything useful from it. Unlike Descartes’s Demon, Hoffman thinks we won’t be tricked forever. The tricks evolution plays on us mattered in our ancestral environment, but over time we move to stranger and stranger situations. Eventually, our fitness will depend on something new, and we’ll need to learn something new about reality.

This means that ultimately, despite the skeptical cast, Hoffman’s argument fits with the way science already works. We are, very much, trying to put ourselves in new situations and test whether our evolved expectations still serve us well or whether we need to perceive things anew. That is precisely what we in science are always doing, every day. And as we’ll see in the next section, whatever new things we have to learn have no particular reason to be what Hoffman thinks they should be.

But while it doesn’t really matter, I do still want to make one counter-argument to Fitness Beats Truth. Hoffman considers a random distribution of fitness, and asks what the chance is that it matches truth. But fitness isn’t independent of truth, and we know that not just from our perception, but from deeper truths of physics and mathematics. Fitness is correlated with truth, fitness often matches truth, for one key reason: complex things are harder than simple things.

Imagine a creature evolving an eye. They have a reason, based on fitness, to need to know where their prey is moving. If evolution was a magic wand, and chemistry trivial, it would let them see their prey, and nothing else. But evolution is not magic, and chemistry is not trivial. The easiest thing for this creature to see is patches of light and darkness. There are many molecules that detect light, because light is a basic part of the physical world. To detect just prey, you need something much more complicated, molecules and cells and neurons. Fitness imposes a cost, and it means that the first eyes that evolve are spots, detecting just light and darkness.

Hoffman asks us not to assume that we know how eyes work, that we know how chemistry works, because we got that knowledge from our perceptions. But the nature of complexity and simplicity, entropy and thermodynamics and information, these are things we can approach through pure thought, as much as evolution. And those principles tell us that it will always be easier for an organism to perceive the world as it truly is than not, because the world is most likely simple and it is most likely the simplest path to perceive it directly. When benefits get high enough, when fitness gets strong enough, we can of course perceive the wrong thing. But if there is only a small fitness benefit to perceiving something incorrectly, then simplicity will win out. And by asking simpler and simpler questions, we can make real durable scientific progress towards truth.

The Physical Argument

So if I’m not impressed by the psychology or the philosophy, what about the part that motivated me to read the book in the first place, the physics?

Because this is, in a weird and perhaps crackpot way, a physics book. Hoffman has a specific idea, more specific than just that the world we perceive is an evolutionary illusion, more specific than that consciousness cannot be explained by the relations between physical particles. He has a proposal, based on these ideas, one that he thinks might lead to a revolutionary new theory of physics. And he tries to argue that physicists, in their own way, have been inching closer and closer to his proposal’s core ideas.

Hoffman’s idea is that the world is made, not of particles or fields or anything like that, but of conscious agents. You and I are, in this picture, certainly conscious agents, but so are the sources of everything we perceive. When we reach out and feel a table, when we look up and see the Sun, those are the actions of some conscious agent intruding on our perceptions. Unlike panpsychists, who believe that everything in the world is conscious, Hoffman doesn’t believe that the Sun itself is conscious, or is made of conscious things. Rather, he thinks that the Sun is an evolutionary illusion that rearranges our perceptions in a convenient way. The perceptions still come from some conscious thing or set of conscious things, but unlike in panpsychism they don’t live in the center of our solar system, or in any other place (space and time also being evolutionary illusions in this picture). Instead, they could come from something radically different that we haven’t imagined yet.

Earlier, I mentioned split brain patients. For anyone who thinks of conscious beings as fundamental, split brain patients are a challenge. These are people who, as a treatment for epilepsy, had the bridge between the two halves of their brain severed. The result is eerily as if their consciousness was split in two. While they only express one train of thought, that train of thought seems to only correspond to the thoughts of one side of their brain, controlling only half their body. The other side, controlling the other half of their body, appears to have different thoughts, different perceptions, and even different opinions, which are made manifest when instead of speaking they use that side of their body to gesture and communicate. While some argue that these cases are over-interpreted and don’t really show what they’re claimed to, Hoffman doesn’t. He accepts that these split-brain patients genuinely have their consciousness split in two.

Hoffman thinks this isn’t a problem because for him, conscious agents can be made up of other conscious agents. Each of us is conscious, but we are also supposed to be made up of simpler conscious agents. Our perceptions and decisions are not inexplicable, but can be explained in terms of the interactions of the simpler conscious entities that make us up, each one communicating with the others.

Hoffman speculates that everything is ultimately composed of the simplest possible conscious agents. For him, a conscious agent must do two things: perceive, and act. So the simplest possible agent perceives and acts in the simplest possible way. They perceive a single bit of information: 0 or 1, true or false, yes or no. And they take one action, communicating a different bit of information to another conscious agent: again, 0 or 1, true or false, yes or no.

Hoffman thinks that this could be the key to a new theory of physics. Instead of thinking about the world as composed of particles and fields, think about it as composed of these simple conscious agents, each one perceiving and communicating one bit at a time.

Hoffman thinks this, in part, because he sees physics as already going in this direction. He’s heard that “spacetime is doomed”, he’s heard that quantum mechanics is contextual and has no local realism, he’s heard that quantum gravity researchers think the world might be a hologram and space-time has a finite number of bits. This all “rhymes” enough with his proposal that he’s confident physics has his back.

Hoffman is trained in psychology. He seems to know his philosophy, at least enough to engage with the literature there. But he is absolutely not a physicist, and it shows. Time and again it seems like he relies on “pop physics” accounts that superficially match his ideas without really understanding what the physicists are actually talking about.

He keeps up best when it comes to interpretations of quantum mechanics, a field where concepts from philosophy play a meaningful role. He covers the reasons why quantum mechanics keeps philosophers up at night: Bell’s Theorem, which shows that a theory that matches the predictions of quantum mechanics cannot both be “realist”, with measurements uncovering pre-existing facts about the world, and “local”, with things only influencing each other at less than the speed of light, the broader notion of contextuality, where measured results are dependent on which other measurements are made, and the various experiments showing that both of these properties hold in the real world.

These two facts, and their implications, have spawned a whole industry of interpretations of quantum mechanics, where physicists and philosophers decide which side of various dilemmas to take and how to describe the results. Hoffman quotes a few different “non-realist” interpretations: Carlo Rovelli’s Relational Quantum Mechanics, Quantum Bayesianism/QBism, Consistent Histories, and whatever Chris Fields is into. These are all different from one another, which Hoffman is aware of. He just wants to make the case that non-realist interpretations are reasonable, that the physicists collectively are saying “maybe reality doesn’t exist” just like he is.

The problem is that Hoffman’s proposal is not, in the quantum mechanics sense, non-realist. Yes, Hoffman thinks that the things we observe are just an “interface”, that reality is really a network of conscious agents. But in order to have a non-realist interpretation, you need to also have other conscious agents not be real. That’s easily seen from the old “Wigner’s friend” thought experiment, where you put one of your friends in a Schrodinger’s cat-style box. Just as Schrodinger’s cat can be both alive and dead, your friend can both have observed something and not have observed it, or observed something and observed something else. The state of your friend’s mind, just like everything else in a non-realist interpretation, doesn’t have a definite value until you measure it.

Hoffman’s setup doesn’t, and can’t, work that way. His whole philosophical project is to declare that certain things exist and others don’t: the sun doesn’t exist, conscious agents do. In a non-realist interpretation, the sun and other conscious agents can both be useful descriptions, but ultimately nothing “really exists”. Science isn’t a catalogue of what does or doesn’t “really exist”, it’s a tool to make predictions about your observations.

Hoffman gets even more confused when he gets to quantum gravity. He starts out with a common misconception: that the Planck length represents the “pixels” of reality, sort of like the pixels of your computer screen, which he uses to support his “interface” theory of consciousness. This isn’t really the right way to think about it the Planck length, though, and certainly isn’t what the people he’s quoting have in mind. The Planck length is a minimum scale in that space and time stop making sense as one approaches it, but that’s not necessarily because space and time are made up of discrete pixels. Rather, it’s because as you get closer to the Planck length, space and time stop being the most convenient way to describe things. For a relatively simple example of how this can work, see my post here.

From there, he reflects on holography: the discovery that certain theories in physics can be described equally well by what is happening on their boundary as by their interior, the way that a 2D page can hold all the information for an apparently 3D hologram. He talks about the Bekenstein bound, the conjecture that there is a maximum amount of information needed to describe a region of space, proportional not to the volume of the region but to its area. For Hoffman, this feels suspiciously like human vision: if we see just a 2D image of the world, could that image contain all the information needed to construct that world? Could the world really be just what we see?

In a word, no.

On the physics side, the Bekenstein bound is a conjecture, and one that doesn’t always hold. A more precise version that seems to hold more broadly, called the Bousso bound, works by demanding the surface have certain very specific geometric properties in space-time, properties not generally shared by the retinas of our eyes.

But it even fails in Hoffman’s own context, once we remember that there are other types of perception than vision. When we hear, we don’t detect a 2D map, but a 1D set of frequencies, put in “stereo” by our ears. When we feel pain, we can feel it in any part of our body, essentially a 3D picture since it goes inwards as well. Nothing about human perception uniquely singles out a 2D surface.

There is actually something in physics much closer to what Hoffman is imagining, but it trades on a principle Hoffman aspires to get rid of: locality. We’ve known since Einstein that you can’t change the world around you faster than the speed of light. Quantum mechanics doesn’t change that, despite what you may have heard. More than that, simultaneity is relative: two distant events might be at the same time in your reference frame, but for someone else one of them might be first, or the other one might be, there is no one universal answer.

Because of that, if you want to think about things happening one by one, cause following effect, actions causing consequences, then you can’t think of causes or actions as spread out in space. You have to think about what happens at a single point: the location of an imagined observer.

Once you have this concept, you can ask whether describing the world in terms of this single observer works just as well as describing it in terms of a wide open space. And indeed, it actually can do well, at least under certain conditions. But one again, this really isn’t how Hoffman is doing things: he has multiple observers all real at the same time, communicating with each other in a definite order.

In general, a lot of researchers in quantum gravity think spacetime is doomed. They think things are better described in terms of objects with other properties and interactions, with space and time as just convenient approximations for a more complicated reality. They get this both from observing properties of the theories we already have, and from thought experiments showing where those theories cause problems.

Nima, the most catchy of these quotable theorists, is approaching the problem from the direction of scattering amplitudes: the calculations we do to find the probability of observations in particle physics. Each scattering amplitude describes a single observation: what someone far away from a particle collision can measure, independent of any story of what might have “actually happened” to the particles in between. Nima’s goal is to describe these amplitudes purely in terms of those observations, to get rid of the “story” that shows up in the middle as much as possible.

The other theorists have different goals, but have this in common: they treat observables as their guide. They look at the properties that a single observer’s observations can have, and try to take a fresh view, independent of any assumptions about what happens in between.

This key perspective, this key insight, is what Hoffman is missing throughout this book. He has read what many physicists have to say, but he does not understand why they are saying it. His book is titled The Case Against Reality, but he merely trades one reality for another. He stops short of the more radical, more justified case against reality: that “reality”, that thing philosophers argue about and that makes us think we can rule out theories based on pure thought, is itself the wrong approach: that instead of trying to characterize an idealized real world, we are best served by focusing on what we can do.

One thing I didn’t do here is a full critique of Hoffman’s specific proposal, treating it as a proposed theory of physics. That would involve quite a bit more work, on top of what has turned out to be a very long book review. I would need to read not just his popular description, but the actual papers where he makes his case and lays out the relevant subtleties. Since I haven’t done that, I’ll end with a few questions: things that his proposal will need to answer if it aspires to be a useful idea for physics.

  • Are the networks of conscious agents he proposes Turing-complete? In other words, can they represent any calculation a computer can do? If so, they aren’t a useful idea for physics, because you could imagine a network of conscious agents to reproduce any theory you want. The idea wouldn’t narrow things down to get us closer to a useful truth. This was also one of the things that made me uncomfortable with the Wolfram Physics Project.
  • What are the conditions that allow a network of simple conscious agents to make up a bigger conscious agent? Do those conditions depend meaningfully on the network’s agents being conscious, or do they just have to pass messages? If the latter, then Hoffman is tacitly admitting you can make a conscious agent out of non-conscious agents, even if he insists this is philosophically impossible.
  • How do you square this network with relativity and quantum mechanics? Is there a set time, an order in which all the conscious agents communicate with each other? If so, how do you square that with the relativity of simultaneity? Are the agents themselves supposed to be able to be put in quantum states, or is quantum mechanics supposed to emerge from a theory of classical agents?
  • How does evolution fit in here? A bit part of Hoffman’s argument was supported by the universality of the evolutionary algorithm. In order for evolution to matter for your simplest agents, they need to be able to be created or destroyed. But then they have more than two actions: not just 0 and 1, but 0, 1, and cease to exist. So you could have an even simpler agent that has just two bits.

Valentine’s Day Physics Poem 2024

It’s that time of year again! In one of this blog’s yearly traditions, I’m posting a poem mixing physics and romance. For those who’d like to see more, you can find past years’ poems here.

Modeling Together

Together, we set out to model the world, and learn something new.

The Physicist said,
“My model is simple, the model of fundamental things. Particles go in, particles go out. For each configuration, a probability. For each calculation, an approximation. I can see the path, clear as day. I just need to fix the parameters.”

The Engineer responded,
“I will trust you, because you are a Physicist. You dream of greater things, and have given me marvels. But my models are the models of everything else. Their parameters are countless as waves of the ocean, and all complex things are their purview. Their only path is to learn, and learn more, and see where learning takes you.”

The Physicist followed his model, and the Engineer followed along. With their money and sweat, cajoling and wheedling, they built a grand machine, all to the Physicist’s specifications. And according to the Physicist’s path, parameters begun to be fixed.

But something was missing.

The Engineer asked,
“What are we learning, following your path? We have spent and spent, but all I see is your machine. What marvels will it give us? What children will it feed?”

The Physicist considered, and said,
“You must wait for the marvels, and wait for the learning. New things take time. But my path is clear, my model is the only choice.”

The Engineer, with patience, responded,
“I will trust you, because you are a Physicist, and know the laws of your world. But my models are the models of everything else, and there is always another choice.”

Months went by, and they fed more to the machine. More energy, more time, more insight, more passion. Parameters tightened, and they hoped for marvels.

And they learned, one by one, that the marvels would not come. The machine would not spare them toil, would not fill the Engineer’s pockets or feed the starving, would not fill the world with art and mystery and value.

And the Engineer asked,
“Without these marvels, must we keep following your path? Should we not go out into the world, and learn another?”

And the Physicist thought, and answered,
“You must wait a little longer. For my model is the only model I have known, the only path I know to follow, and I am loathe to abandon it.”

And the Engineer, generously, responded,
“I will trust you, because you are a Physicist, down to the bone. But my models are the models of everything else, of chattering voices and adaptable answers. And you can always learn another path.”

More months went by. The machine gave less and less, and took more and more for the giving. Energy was dear, and time more so, and the waiting was its own kind of emptiness.

The Engineer, silently, looked to the Physicist.

The Physicist said,
“I will trust you. Because you are an Engineer, yes, and your models are the models of everything else. And because, through these months, you have trusted me. I am ready to learn, and learn more, and try something new. Let us try a new model, and see where it leads.”

The simplest model says that one and one is two, and two is greater. We are billions of parameters, and can miss the simple things. But time,
                                                           And learning,
Can fix parameters,
And us.

Neu-tree-no Detector

I’ve written before about physicists’ ideas for gigantic particle accelerators, proposals for machines far bigger than the Large Hadron Collider or even plans for a Future Circular Collider. The ideas ranged from wacky but not obviously impossible (a particle collider under the ocean) to pure science fiction (a beam of neutrinos that can blow up nukes across the globe).

But what if you don’t want to accelerate particles? What if, instead, you want to detect particles from the depths of space? Can you still propose ridiculously huge things?

Neutrinos are extremely hard to detect. Immune to the strongest forces of nature, they only interact via the weak nuclear force and gravity. The weakness of these forces means they can pass through huge amounts of material without disturbing a single atom. The Sudbury Neutrino Observatory used a tank of 1000 tonnes of water in order to stop enough neutrinos to study them. The IceCube experiment is bigger yet, and getting even bigger: their planned expansion will fill eight cubic kilometers of Antarctic ice with neutrino detectors, letting them measure around a million neutrinos every year.

But if you want to detect the highest-energy neutrinos, you may have to get even bigger than that. With so few of them to study, you need to cover a huge area with antennas to spot a decent number of them.

Or, maybe you can just use trees.

Pictured: a physics experiment?

That’s the proposal of Steven Prohira, a MacArthur Genius Grant winner who works as a professor at the University of Kansas. He suggests that, instead of setting up a giant array of antennas to detect high-energy neutrinos, trees could be used, with a coil of wire around the tree to measure electrical signals. Prohira even suggests that “A forest detector could also motivate the large-scale reforesting of land, to grow a neutrino detector for future generations”.

Despite sounding wacky, tree antennas have actually been used before. Militaries have looked into them as a way to set up antennas in remote locations, and later studies indicate they work surprisingly well. So the idea is not completely impossible, much like the “collider-under-the-sea”.

Like the “collider-under-the-sea”, though, some wackiness still remains. Prohira admits he hasn’t yet done all the work needed to test the idea’s feasibility, and comparing to mature experiments like IceCube makes it clear there is a lot more work to be done. Chatting with neutrino experts, one problem a few of them pointed out is that unlike devices sunk into Antarctic ice, trees are not uniformly spaced, and that might pose a problem if you want to measure neutrinos carefully.

What stands out to me, though, is that those questions are answerable. If the idea sounds promising, physicists can follow up. They can make more careful estimates, or do smaller-scale experiments. They won’t be stuck arguing over interpretations, or just building the full experiment and seeing if it works.

That’s the great benefit of a quantitative picture of the world. We can estimate some things very accurately, with theories that give very precise numbers for how neutrinos behave. Other things we can estimate less accurately, but still can work on: how tall trees are, how widely they are spaced, how much they vary. We have statistical tools and biological data. We can find numbers, and even better, we can know how uncertain we should be about those numbers. Because of that picture, we don’t need to argue fruitlessly about ideas like this. We can work out numbers, and check!

My Secret, Cap

I’d been meaning, for a while now, to write a post about how I got my permanent job. It lands a bit differently now that I’ve given that job up, but I think the post is still worth making.

Note that, while I know how things felt like, I don’t have “inside information” here. I don’t know why the hiring committee chose me, I never really got to the point where I could comfortably ask that. And I didn’t get to the point where I was on a hiring committee myself, so I never saw from the inside how they work.

Even if I had, “how I got a job” isn’t the kind of thing that has one simple answer. Academic jobs aren’t like commercial airlines or nuclear power plants, where every fail-safe has to go wrong to cause disaster. They aren’t like the highest reaches of competition in things like athletics, where a single mistake will doom you. They’re a mess of circumstances, dozens of people making idiosyncratic decisions, circumstances and effort pulling one way or another. There’s nothing you can do to guarantee yourself a job, nothing you can do so badly to screw up your chance of ever finding one, and no-one who can credibly calculate your chances.

What I can tell you is what happened, and what I eventually did differently. I started applying for permanent and tenure-track jobs in Fall 2019. I applied to four jobs that year, plus one fixed-term one: I still had funding for the next year, so I could afford to be picky. The next year, my funding was going to run out, so I applied more widely. I sent twenty-three applications, some to permanent or tenure-track jobs, but some to shorter-term positions. I got one tenure-track interview (where I did terribly), and two offers for short-term positions. I ended up turning both down after getting a surprise one-year extension where I was.

The next year was a blur of applications. From August 2021 to June 2022, I applied to at least one job every month, 45 jobs in total, and got either rejected or ghosted by all of them. I got a single interview, for a temporary position (where I again did pretty poorly). I was exhausted and heartsick, and when I was offered another one-year extension I didn’t know what to think about it.

So, I took a breath, and I stopped.

I talked to a trusted mentor, who mentioned my publications had slowed. To remedy that, I went back to three results and polished them up, speeding them out to the arXiv paper server in September. Readers of this blog know them as my cabinet of curiosities.

I got some advice from family, and friends of family. I’m descended from a long line of scientists, so this is more practically useful than it would be for most.

More important than either of those, though, I got some therapy. I started thinking about what I cared about, what mattered to me. And I think that there, from that, I figured out my real secret, the thing that ended up making the biggest difference. It wasn’t something I did, but how I thought and felt about it.

My secret to finding an academic job? Knowing you don’t need one.

I’m not saying I didn’t want the position. There were things I wanted to accomplish, things that get a lot easier with the right permanent academic job. But I realized that if I didn’t get it, it wasn’t the end of the world. I had other things I could look into, other paths that would make me happy. On one level, I almost relished the idea of the search not working, of getting some time to rediscover myself and learn something new.

If you’ve ever been lonely, someone has warned you against appearing too desperate. This always seemed patently unfair, as if people are bigoted against those who need companionship the most. But from this job search, I’ve realized there’s another reason.

During that year of applications, the most exhausting part was tailoring. In order for an application to have a chance, I’d need to look up what the other professors in the place I was applying did, come up with a story for how we might collaborate, and edit those stories in to my application materials. This took time, but worse, it felt demeaning. I was applying because I wanted a job, any job, not because I wanted to work with those particular people. It felt like I was being forced to pretend to be someone else, to feign interest in the interests of more powerful people, again and again, when almost all of them weren’t even going to consider my application in the first place.

Then, after realizing I didn’t need the jobs? I tailored more.

I read up on the research the other profs were doing. I read up on the courses the department taught, and the system to propose new courses. I read up on the outreach projects, and even the diversity initiatives.

How did I stand that, how did I stomach it? Because my motivation was different.

Once I knew I didn’t need the job, I read with a very different question in mind: not “how do I pretend I’m good enough for the job”, but, “is the job good enough for me?”

In that final search, I applied to a lot fewer positions: just ten, in the end. But for each position, I was able to find specific reasons why it would be good for me, for the goals I had and what I wanted to accomplish. I was able to tolerate the reading, to get through the boilerplate and even write a DEI essay I wasn’t totally ashamed of, because I looked at each step as a filter: not a filter that would filter me out, but a filter that would get rid of jobs that I didn’t actually want.

I don’t know for certain if this helped: academic jobs are still as random as they come, and in the end I still only got one interview. But it felt like it helped. It gave me a confidence others lacked. It let me survive applying that one more time. And because I asked the right questions, questions based on what I actually cared about, I flattered people much more effectively than I could have done by intentionally trying to flatter them.

(I think that’s an insight that carries over to dating too, by the way. Someone trying to figure out what they want is much more appealing than someone just trying to get anyone they can, because the former asks the right questions.)

In the end, I suspect my problem is that I didn’t take this attitude far enough. I got excited that I was invited to interview, excited that everyone seemed positive and friendly, and I stopped asking the right questions. I didn’t spend time touring the area, trying to figure out if there were good places to live and functional transit. I pushed aside warning signs, vibes in the group and bureaucracy in the approach. I didn’t do the research I should have to figure out if my wife and I could actually make it work.

And I’m paying for it. Going back to Denmark after six months in France is not nearly as easy, not nearly as straightforward, as just not accepting the job and looking for industry jobs in Copenhagen would have been. There’s what my wife endured in those six months, of course. But also, we won’t have the same life that we did. My wife had to quit her job, a very good long-term role. She’ll have to find something else, taking a step back in her career. We were almost able to apply for permanent residency. We should talk to an immigration lawyer, but I’m guessing we’ll have to start again from scratch. We were saving up for an apartment, but Danish banks get skittish about giving loans if you’re new to the country. (Though as I’ve learned on my job search, some of these banks are considering changing how they evaluate credit risk…so maybe there’s some hope?)

So my secret is also my warning. Whatever you’re searching for in life, remember that you can always do without it. Figure out what works for you. Don’t get locked into assuming you only have one option, that you have to accept any offer you get. You have choices, you have options. And you can always try something new.

Why We Are Leaving France: The Misadventures of a Trailing Spouse

In last week’s announcement, I mentioned I’d have a few follow-up posts. This week is a guest post. I want to let my wife tell her side of the story, to talk publicly about what she’s experienced over the last six months.


If you are a frequent reader of this blog, you probably know that 4gravitons relocated last year to France, following a long-coveted permanent academic position at the Institute for Theoretical Physics (IPhT) of CEA Paris-Saclay. Along with 4gravitons, I also moved to France as a trailing spouse. This is not an unusual situation, academic spouses agreeing to leave behind their friends and career to allow the academic in the relationship to develop their career. I had even set some conditions that I thought were necessary for me to successfully integrate elsewhere (access to employment, an intelligible healthcare system, good public transit), a list of desirable traits (in or near a medium-to-large city, prior knowledge of the language, walkable neighborhood),  and some places I was unwilling to move to. When the offer for a position in France arrived, we thought it was almost ideal:

  • France is an EU country, which would give me direct access to employment (by the EU directive on Freedom of Movement),
  • France is also somewhat renowned for having a sensible working healthcare system, even though in recent times it has been stretched thin,
  • IPhT is less than an hour away from Paris, and
  • Both 4gravitons and I already had a B1/B2 level in French (you can find the CEFR level descriptors here). 

However, we have decided to leave France only 6 months after arriving. What happened?

I wanted to put one of Escher’s labyrinths here, but they’re still under copyright.

The quest for a Carte de Séjour (and access to the labor market) 

As I wrote earlier, being able to work was a necessary condition for me to relocate. I work in education, which often requires a good deal of paperwork (since countries correctly want to make sure their young people are in a safe, nurturing environment). I had heard that France was facing a shortage of teachers, so I was hopeful about my prospects. I applied for one position which seemed like a perfect fit and got through a couple of interviews before the legal right to work issues started. EU law states that EU spouses have access to employment in EU countries on arrival (they should get the same rights as their European partners); however, in France employers are liable if they hire someone illegally so they are extremely cautious when hiring foreigners. In practice, this means employers will NOT hire EU spouses if they do not have a document from the French authorities explicitly stating their right to work. Since it is not possible to start the process to get such a document before arriving in France, finding work would have to wait.

One day after arriving in France, still hoping things would go smoothly and we could build a good life there, I collected all the document required by EU law to apply for a Carte de Séjour (residence card), went to the neighborhood Photomaton to have compliant photos taken, and uploaded the documents and photo-ID to the website of ANEF, the agency that handles the digital side of French immigration. EU law grants EU spouses 3 months to apply for the Carte de Séjour, but I wanted to have the process started as soon as possible so I could work. Naïvely, I thought I would be issued a document stating that I had applied for a Carte de Séjour under EU law and thus was allowed employment, the way it works in other EU countries. This was not the case. I was, instead, given a letter saying that I had applied for a Carte de Séjour, and that the document did not grant access to either employment or social benefits (such as healthcare, more on this below). To make matters worse, our sous-préfécture (the part of local government that handles the application) listed average waiting times for first demands at 161 days.

Well, at least the process was started and, in my head, the long wait times would likely only apply to complicated cases. I was arriving as an EU spouse, after having lived in another EU country (since 4gravitons had been working at the Niels Bohr Institute, in Denmark) for quite some time. It would likely be a short wait. It was just a matter of waiting for an e-mail when the process actually started and making sure to submit further documentation quickly, if it was deemed necessary.

A couple of months later, the email had not yet arrived (and work opportunities kept vanishing due to lack of papers), so we started asking for confirmation that my documents had indeed been received by our local sous-préfécture. We wrote to ANEF (“due to a technical error, we cannot answer your question”), called the sous-préfécture (“nobody here can answer your question”), support organizations (“You have the wrong visa! Can you go to another country and apply for a long-term visa from there?”), and so on. This went on for a long time despite local contacts reaching out to our sous-préfécture, our préfect, and other connections to try and accelerate the process. I finally received the e-mail starting the process (requesting some more documents, as well as some I had already sent) about 5 months after submitting the application (it took exactly 148  days, I counted). At this point, I was also granted a new letter attesting that I was legally in France (my short-term Schengen visa having expired much earlier) and that explicitly did not grant access to either employment (without a work authorization) or social benefits.

Healthcare for the undocumented

To make things even more complicated, I started having unusual symptoms a few weeks after our move to France. In the worst instance, the symptoms were worrying enough that an ambulance was sent to take me to the emergency room for an MRI (luckily, it was not serious). Note that I did not have a health card, so the ambulance had to be paid in cash before they would move me, the hospital sent a bill for the MRI by mail some weeks later, and the government sent a bill for the emergency care four months later. Luckily, we bought private insurance before moving, since we have relocated before and know that sometimes it takes a little time before one is signed up with the local healthcare institutions. Unluckily, hospitals here will not deal with insurance companies directly so we had to pay and file for reimbursement (this involves papers called feuille de soins, and the ambulance did not give us one, so no reimbursement for that). The following 3 or 4 months involved many specialist visits, lots of labs, lots of feuilles de soins… and very limited improvement on my symptoms. Since we could not have a family doctor (this requires a health card and an infinite amount of patience given that most general doctors have no space for new patients), appointments often consisted of the same questions, more referrals, confusion over a patient arriving with a giant file of previous documents, and no answers. At the end, the only answer proposed was that it may all be a physical expression of stress and anxiety.

The aforementioned situation was adding significant complications to our lives so, France being a country with socialized medicine, we started the process required to register me for a Carte Vitale (this is the name of the French health card). Residents in France aren’t automatically covered, but they are either registered for coverage by their employer or register themselves as dependents of someone with coverage. We reached out to CPAM (the French agency that controls socialized health insurance) and were given the forms to apply for coverage and a list of documents, which included a valid residency document (long-term visa or Carte de Séjour). EU spouses are not required to get a long-term visa (the French embassy explicitly told us I should get a short-term visa, and only because our residency cards for Denmark were expiring around the time of relocation) and the Carte de Séjour process was still ongoing, so we had a problem. Regardless, we made a file, and included our marriage certificate, the letter stating I had applied for a residence card, and proof of residency and work in France for 4gravitons, which shows the legality of my residence in France under EU regulations. The instructions are to send the file by mail to the corresponding CPAM office, which we tried to do but the postal office lost the letter. We eventually got an appointment to hand the documents in person and were told directly that I had the wrong visa and my request would likely be denied due to the lack of Carte de Séjour. We repeated the rules established by the EU (lack of a Carte de Séjour CANNOT be used to justify the denial of rights to EU families) and gave them the dossier. A month or so later, a letter came in the mail stating that my request had been denied because I had not been a resident for three months (at that point, I had been a resident for 2 and a half months so that was not much of an issue); a few weeks later, once my three-month visa had expired, a different letter arrived changing the reason for refusal to the lack of legal resident status.

Everyone ♥️ Paris, France

As you may well imagine, I was not feeling much appreciation for the City of Lights given our difficulties settling in and the isolation imposed by my status (legal resident but undocumented). Yet, whenever I have tried to explain why I was anxious, frustrated, or depressed, I encountered very little empathy or understanding. It often felt as if, by describing my experiences in the city, I was criticizing a core belief for people: that Paris is a magical place where one eats wonderful food and strolls about beautiful places. 

In sensing my unhappiness in (or near) Paris, I was often advised to go spend more time in the museums (the ones I am most interested in are quite expensive and permanently crowded) or walking around the nice areas of Paris (but beware not to take a wrong turn, for it is easy to find oneself in a less-than-nice place). This continued even if I explained that I have been to Paris, have seen the beautiful museums and manicured parks, and I never much enjoyed it. 

I moved here knowing that Paris was not a city I loved, but expecting it would provide access to entertainment (art, theater, gaming, etc) and to a variety of other resources (like materials for artwork or ingredients for my traditional foods). I was quite unhappy when the reliability of the RER-B became a problem: we ended up defaulting to scheduling almost two hours for any Paris trip to ensure we would arrive on time. Despite the extended time, there were occasions when we almost missed a meeting time due to train delays and cancellations. In the end, access to all the nice things in Paris was limited by logistics.

An unintegrated immigrant

Until this move, I thought that integration into developed countries was mostly a matter of individual effort: learn the language, find employment and connections to the local community, and understand that things are different than in your previous home. I can no longer hold this belief. I tried, as much as I could, to interact with our local community. I took any opportunity to speak French, and often was made to feel dumb for not finding the right terms; an ophthalmologist once welcomed me by saying “Oh, you’re the patient who does not speak French” in French (try describing different kinds of eye pain in a foreign language). I signed-up for more French lessons which seemed to focus more on local slang than on useful words (my vocabulary needs more help than my grammar for French). I also joined some art lessons and a local vocal ensemble, where I met some lovely people but had little chance of creating more in-depth connections. 

Finally, after months of trying and failing to integrate, Newtonmas came. The few friends we had here all left to visit their families. I still had no papers and could not leave France. On top of this, there was an unexpected death in my family in the lead-up to the holidays. I found myself, almost 5 months after arriving, unemployed (and with no access to the job market), uninsured (and paying for healthcare and a lot of counseling out of pocket), undocumented (at this point, with no valid visa and no way to prove I was in France legally), and grieving alone in a foreign country. We knew that I could not stay here. And thus, we cannot stay here.

Integration requires effort from the immigrant, but it also requires effort from the country. It requires a country willing to give basic access to the requirements of life, to let immigrants step into the public sphere under fair conditions, and to do so consistently and reliably. France, in its current state, cannot do this. I hope it can improve, but I am not required to wait here for it. We’ll be elsewhere, integrating into another country and contributing to their community instead.

Well That Didn’t Work

Apologies to anyone who finds the title too flippant. This is a serious situation, and I am taking it seriously. But this is how I write. I mix the absurd and the profound. I build stories.

In May, I was offered the kind of position I’d been searching for for years, the kind of position almost everyone in my life at that point was searching for: a permanent position as a theoretical physicist. As these positions almost always do, it required an international move: I’d be leaving Denmark, and going to France.

Originally, I had planned to defer the position for a year, to have time for my wife and I to tie up loose ends. That, it turned out, wasn’t possible: the position would have to start before the end of 2023. I talked things over with my wife, and we decided to move in August. She works in education, so it would, we hoped, let her start a job with the start of the school year. We’d settle in, get to know a new country and find our place in it.

She didn’t end up finding that place. That wasn’t because she couldn’t find work: that came easy. It was because, as far as employers here understood, she wasn’t allowed to work. The EU Directive on Freedom of Movement is very clear: spouses of EU citizens (I’m German) have the right to work EU-wide, independent of whether they have any document from their host country saying so, as long as they live with their spouse. But different countries implement this differently. The Danish government makes this right clear on their website. As soon as the spouse of an EU citizen registers with Danish immigration, shortly after they arrive, they get a letter saying their case is in process, and they conditionally can work. If they happen to have been lying, their case can still be rejected, but if it is only the employee is punished: the employer couldn’t have known, after all.

France is different. If an employer hires someone who lies about their right to work, the employer is at fault, so employers are afraid to hire without explicit documentation from the French government. Government websites do not mention that spouses of EU citizens have the right to work, and leaves it off of lists where it should appear. And the French documentation is slow. My wife applied the day after we arrived, in August. Five months later, the French government finally opened the file. They gave her a document saying she had the right to remain in the country…but not yet the right to travel or work.

In the end, my wife decided that she didn’t want to stay in the country that did this to her, and seeing the effect it has had on her I have to agree.

Academics don’t get to choose where to live. People do, though, especially in places like the EU. I can choose for us to live in Denmark, to build a life in a country that has treated us well. I just have to leave academia to do it.

So that’s the plan. I have resigned from my position in France, the moving truck has picked up our stuff. We’re headed back to Denmark. I’ll spend a couple months as a visiting professor at the Niels Bohr Institute, courtesy of some extremely generous former colleagues.

After that? Something else. Probably Data Science, that seems like what most of the ex-physicists are doing these days. Ultimately, I’m up for anything I can do in Copenhagen that leverages my skills. I’ve got ten years of experience coding in weird programming languages, learning new kinds of math, and writing once a week for you guys. I’m optimistic I’ll find something. (And if you’re looking for someone like that in Copenhagen, let me know!)

I do still care about physics, even if I won’t be researching it. So I’ll keep blogging, and the blog will keep having physics content. I’ve dabbled in science journalism more recently, and I’ll keep doing more. It won’t be a full-time job for the moment, but in the long run who knows? For my physics contacts, if you’re willing to be a sounding-board for dumb questions, that would be really valuable. And if you run into a story, something that sounds like it would make good science news, then let me know!

For all those attending the conference I’m organizing: it will still go on, even if I’m less likely to be a part of it. I still have four capable co-organizers, after all.

Over the next few weeks I’ll have a few more posts about this, from different angles. I have a few more things to say, some personal, some practical (for example, a guide for EU citizens bringing non-EU spouses to France). My wife will have a guest post: she’s had some crazy things happen to her here, and deserves to have her story told.

In the meantime, I’d be happy to hear from people. I know many of you will be shocked. (Props to the old friend who figured it out from my LinkedIn posts!) I’ve met a lot of support so far, a lot of very understanding people. But whatever your reaction, I’m willing to talk through it.

Generalize

What’s the difference between a model and an explanation?

Suppose you cared about dark matter. You observe that things out there in the universe don’t quite move the way you would expect. There is something, a consistent something, that changes the orbits of galaxies and the bending of light, the shape of the early universe and the spiderweb of super-clusters. How do you think about that “something”?

One option is to try to model the something. You want to use as few parameters as possible, so that your model isn’t just an accident, but will actually work to predict new data. You want to describe how it changes gravity, on all the scales you care about. Your model might be very simple, like the original MOND, and just describe a modification to Newtonian gravity, since you typically only need Newtonian gravity to model many of these phenomena. (Though MOND itself can’t account for all the things attributed to dark matter, so it had to be modified.) You might have something slightly more complicated, proposing some “matter” but not going into much detail about what it is, just enough for your model to work.

If you were doing engineering, a model like that is a fine thing to have. If you were building a spaceship and wanted to figure out what its destination would look like after a long journey, you’d need a model of dark matter like this, one that predicted how galaxies move and light bends, to do the job.

But a model like that isn’t an explanation. And the reason why is that explanations generalize.

In practice, you often just need Newtonian gravity to model how galaxies move. But if you want to model more dramatic things, the movement of the whole universe or the area around a black hole, then you need general relativity as well. So to generalize to those areas, you can’t just modify Newtonian gravity. You need an explanation, one that tells you not just how Newton’s equations change, but how Einstein’s equations change.

In practice, you can get by with a simple model of dark matter, one that doesn’t tell you very much, and just adds a new type of matter. But if you want to model quantum gravity, you need to know how this new matter interacts, not just at baseline with gravity, but with everything else. You need to know how the new matter is produced, whether it gets its mass from the Higgs boson or from something else, whether it falls into the same symmetry groups as the Standard Model or totally new ones, how it arises from tangled-up strings and multi-dimensional membranes. You need not just a model, but an explanation, one that tells you not just roughly what kind of particle you need, but how it changes our models of particle physics overall.

Physics, at its best, generalizes. Newton’s genius wasn’t that he modeled gravity on Earth, but that he unified it with gravity in the solar system. By realizing that gravity was universal, he proposed an explanation that led to much more progress than the models of predecessors like Kepler. Later, Einstein’s work on general relativity led to similar progress.

We can’t always generalize. Sometimes, we simply don’t know enough. But if we’re not engineering, then we don’t need a model, and generalizing should, at least in the long-run, be our guiding hope.

LHC Black Hole Reassurance: The Professional Version

A while back I wrote a post trying to reassure you that the Large Hadron Collider cannot create a black hole that could destroy the Earth. If you’re the kind of person who is worried about this kind of thing, you’ve probably heard a variety of arguments: that it hasn’t happened yet, despite the LHC running for quite some time, that it didn’t happen before the LHC with cosmic rays of comparable energy, and that a black hole that small would quickly decay due to Hawking radiation. I thought it would be nice to give a different sort of argument, a back-of-the-envelope calculation you can try out yourself, showing that even if a black hole was produced using all of the LHC’s energy and fell directly into the center of the Earth, and even if Hawking radiation didn’t exist, it would still take longer than the lifetime of the universe to cause any detectable damage. Modeling the black hole as falling through the Earth and just slurping up everything that falls into its event horizon, it wouldn’t even double in size before the stars burn out.

That calculation was extremely simple by physics standards. As it turns out, it was too simple. A friend of mine started thinking harder about the problem, and dug up this paper from 2008: Astrophysical implications of hypothetical stable TeV-scale black holes.

Before the LHC even turned on, the experts were hard at work studying precisely this question. The paper has two authors, Steve Giddings and Michelangelo Mangano. Giddings is an expert on the problem of quantum gravity, while Mangano is an expert on LHC physics, so the two are exactly the dream team you’d ask for to answer this question. Like me, they pretend that black holes don’t decay due to Hawking radiation, and pretend that one falls to straight from the LHC to the center of the Earth, for the most pessimistic possible scenario.

Unlike me, but like my friend, they point out that the Earth is not actually a uniform sphere of matter. It’s made up of particles: quarks arranged into nucleons arranged into nuclei arranged into atoms. And a black hole that hits a nucleus will probably not just slurp up an event horizon-sized chunk of the nucleus: it will slurp up the whole nucleus.

This in turn means that the black hole starts out growing much more fast. Eventually, it slows down again: once it’s bigger than an atom, it starts gobbling up atoms a few at a time until eventually it is back to slurping up a cylinder of the Earth’s material as it passes through.

But an atom-sized black hole will grow faster than an LHC-energy-sized black hole. How much faster is estimated in the Giddings and Mangano paper, and it depends on the number of dimensions. For eight dimensions, we’re safe. For fewer, they need new arguments.

Wait a minute, you might ask, aren’t there only four dimensions? Is this some string theory nonsense?

Kind of, yes. In order for the LHC to produce black holes, gravity would need to have a much stronger effect than we expect on subatomic particles. That requires something weird, and the most plausible such weirdness people considered at the time were extra dimensions. With extra dimensions of the right size, the LHC might have produced black holes. It’s that kind of scenario that Giddings and Mangano are checking: they don’t know of a plausible way for black holes to be produced at the LHC if there are just four dimensions.

For fewer than eight dimensions, though, they have a problem: the back-of-the-envelope calculation suggests black holes could actually grow fast enough to cause real damage. Here, they fall back on the other type of argument: if this could happen, would it have happened already? They argue that, if the LHC could produce black holes in this way, then cosmic rays could produce black holes when they hit super-dense astronomical objects, such as white dwarfs and neutron stars. Those black holes would eat up the white dwarfs and neutron stars, in the same way one might be worried they could eat up the Earth. But we can observe that white dwarfs and neutron stars do in fact exist, and typically live much longer than they would if they were constantly being eaten by miniature black holes. So we can conclude that any black holes like this don’t exist, and we’re safe.

If you’ve got a smattering of physics knowledge, I encourage you to read through the paper. They consider a lot of different scenarios, much more than I can summarize in a post. I don’t know if you’ll find it reassuring, since they may not cover whatever you happen to be worried about. But it’s a lot of fun seeing how the experts handle the problem.